Looking around today I realized how alone I really am. I sat in my living room and read a book this morning, phone was silent, room was empty, and my only company was the book in my hands. Later I drove to see some friends but in the car i looked over and for the first time realized I was the only existing lifeform in this automobile, Every seat was empty, my phone was silent, and the music accompanied and diverted my thoughts. When I saw my friends it was nice. I didnt feel alone really but something was still off, as if their company couldnt provide me with what I truly wanted. Even in a crowded room I felt alone, my phone was silent, and the familiarity of their chatter numbed the feeling momentarily. On the way home it hit me as I sat in the dark automobile. I just wish I felt needed, not just existing. Giving everything I can to the world as a desperate attempt to feel like im worthy of something. Im not that smart, Im not that good looking, im not confident, and Im just me, flawed. I know I can give however, but in a world of comsumers selfish motives drain me. My flaw is I give so much because I care and since a lot of people hurt me growing up maybe giving would cause people to love me. I was wrong, giving leaves you with a dull emptiness, taking that chance nothing will be returned. I have no ambitions in life. Im clueless, Im alone, and looking around my room I lie in bed looking over I see an empty space, my phone is silent, and these thoughts distract me from reality.